I’ve been back here exactly a week today. And my body is officially drained of energy.
The whole week consisted of working 12 hour days, not getting enough sleep, refusal to admit that I’m back in Singapore to some relatives/friends just so that I can get rest before having to attempt the obligatory visits to the usual people’s houses.
Ok, I miss Beijing..So…who wouldn’t? I just got used to life there. Meh!
Hmmm…3 more days…
I’m contemplating moving on to greener pastures (yes, I know some of you will say,"FINALLY!!")
I’m honestly sick & tired of being put down by people.
So what I’m trying to say is, if things don’t work out here for me, I will have to consider going back to Singapore permanently. No, this is not me just saying it. I’m dead serious.
I want the situation to not suck anymore. I’m sick of missing you…
It’s over. My birthday. Another year older. What does this mean? Absolutely nothing!
It feels different celebrating my birthday in Beijing. I’m used to the gang back home. When we celebrate a birthday, we really celebrate! Wheres here, it’s definitely more laidback. Not that I don’t enjoy it..it’s just…different.
A friend here mentioned that maybe I was just not used to celebrating with "new" friends. I think that can be true..most probably is. I got depressed yesterday, on my birthday just thinking about it. I ended up cleaning his house because I was that depressed.
But today, I guess I’m feeling better. I should stop feeling crappy about whatever situation that I’m in right now…hey, life goes on. Now I just want to settle whatever it is that needs settling.
PMS has hit!! I don’t like it…I feel depressed, nervous, pissy,emotional…
Bad Pms…….bad,bad PMS!
What is the main reason that would cause people to not voice out their opinions or feelings?
Is it due to politeness? Fear? Upbringing? Laziness?
I know I was one of these people when I was younger. Being a Malay, I was kinda conditioned to not express my dissatisfaction under no circumstances. If I did do that either verbally or physically, I would get my ass whopped. Those were the days…
I can’t remember exactly when I changed my views on expressing myself but I guess it just happened. Now, I’m able to do so without fear(most of the time anyway). Also, by being more verbal or expressive, I have earned myself the title of "Bitch". All because people cannot accept the fact that what I said was the straight up truth!
If you consider yourself my friend, never ever hide your feelings/opinions/anger from me. Be it about my attitute, my bitchyness, my lack of common sense, whatever it is, tell it to my face even if you think it’s too harsh. Finding out through 3rd parties really does suck monkey balls..I’d rather deal with it upfront than find out about it later. That just hurts way more..
I have been trying to update my blog since last week but have been failing miserably…I start writing about something, then I get stuck mid-sentence. Then I end up deleting whatever I’ve written cos it doesn’t make any sense.
Bargh!!! My head hurts..so does my body..
