My Life So far..

How do you know if what you’ve done so far in life is the right thing?

Is it when someone tells you that it’s right or is it when you follow your intuition? 

My take on this:

The line between right & wrong is blurred.  What you think is right may not necessarily be right for others & vice versa.  How many of us can honestly say that we have always done the right thing in life?  If you can, then congratulations! You must be one of the happiest people on this earth.

For me, being right is not important.  Being happy in life, that is what I want even if it involves me being wrong. 

"No, that is a bad thing to be doing! What the hell were you thinking?!?", "Don’t you have any f*%#king brains to think?!?" or the best line ever for me,"What a f*%king idiot..typical, once stupid,always stupid!"

Some of the sentences that I have heard from the people who "love" me.  At one point, I even believed that all the things told to me must be true or why would people keep saying it.  I believed that I was incapable of making my own decisions thus the need for someone to tell me what is rght or wrong.  It finally dawned on me that this was just another way of controlling me.

Now, I’m getting better at this game.  The more a person says that I’ve fucked up, the more I’ll try to prove my case & show whoever that I did not fuck up..Even though I do have days where I just give in, I do have my stubborn days as well.

Anyways, I believe that what I’m doing now is the right thing for me.  At least it feels right for now. 

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 15th, 2006 at 1:06 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.