My Life So far..

28th March 2001…was when I started working in this company.  Yesterday was my 5th year of service in the company.  Wow….it has been that long. 

5 years ago, me & me best friend went for a few interviews together but that day I just didn’t feel like going thru’ any questions about what I could do, if I knew how to use a computer, where do I see myself going in this company etc..Anyway, she did the interview & got the job immediately( I still believe that it was because she had "the works"!Heheheh!!) A week later, I went for the interview & got the job too.  The funny thing was that I wore this cardigan & pants & wedges to the interview.  Why was that funny?  If you had known me then, you’d have known that I was not comfortable in clothes like that.  I was the boyish girl that even guys wouldn’t mess with…The whole "professional girly" look, heels, suit, make up was so not me! 

Well, I remember there being 3 of us friends in the same company..the 3 "spiders"(nickname courtesy of Michelle Anne Dawood):

Jambu (pretty) Spider = Octavai, ooppss sorry, Octavia..

Smokin’ Spider = Yayati aka Powz

Garang (Fierce) Spider = Me!

Hah, what a hoot! The 3 of us actually bet once on who would be the first one to leave the company.  Confidently, I said that I was definately going to be…ME!! All because of the fact that I do not like a desk-bound job, am an impatient person & just because I was sucky with computers then..Surprise,surprise, not only am I still working in the company, I’m also based in China which I never thought was ever going to happen to me.  Hah!

I realised that over the past 5 years, I’ve gotten to know a lot of people who have come & gone.   Many have disappeared from my life but some have turned out to be more than just colleagues.  Let’s give shout outs to:

1) Suresh, Ganeish, Kieren, Wee wee Jackie, Fishhead Wendy…..my "braders"..the guys I can depend on to have a chill out session over a few beers or just chilling at a 24 hr kopitiam for some dessert.. Haven’t seen you guys in a long time but hey, I miss you guys!  I wanna see the last diving trip pictures!!!!!

2) Vivi,Amal,Saly,Lily,Yetz,Octavia, Doreen…I thank you guys for being able to put up with my nonsense at work, my constant swearing/smoking..my pertual lateness!  You guys deserve a great,big, hug from me!  Awwww…GROUP HUGZZ

* Also to their spouses: Momot, Nasir,Azmi,Dan,Toon, Yan…you guys are awesome too!! Momot,thanks for playing pool with me & Vivi.  Nasir, thanks for dropping me off when you send Amal home & thanks for letting me "sing" in the car! Dan, thanks for letting Lily go dancing with me. You fuckin’ rock! Toons, you my bro dude!

3) Yani, Elaine, Molly, Shirlyn, GHSK, Sam, Janice, Joanne,Isabel…all I can say is..FUCK YEAH!!! YOU BABES ROCK!!!hahahahah!!

I can remember so many stories behind every person mentioned but to elaborate further would just take so much time.  Sigh, I miss the good old days..

I calculated the total number of hours that I’ve slept & ‘rested’ this week due to my cold.

48 hours…2 days spent on trying to get rid of this horrible cold!  People may think that it’s not enough but to me, it’s plenty!  Hello, it’s Me, Nura…the one who could get over any illness within 24 hours, the one who could sleep 3 hours & still be fresh throughout the day…spending more than 1 day of rest is killing me..Wasted siah!!

I took my medicine.  I took Dyquil,Nyquill, Tylenol, Panadol..still not working people!! Sigh..this is so time-consuming!

Last night was one of the worse nights that I’ve ever had.   I actually fell asleep while everyone was still chilling out. Errghh, sorry guys..all I can say is I’m really sick.  But anyways, I remember waking up at 3 am, feeling like my chest was constricted, like I couldn’t breathe so I ended up walking around the house for a bit before finally collapsing on the sofa to go back to sleep..heh..

But let me just say, I am feeling a bit better..I am getting over the stuffy nose, sore throat, feverish part & moving onto the nose blowing, phlegmy, coughing stage…but I know for sure that I will have to ‘waste’ more time today on more sleep…

I’m sick…again..

It’s springtime & that means time to be sick! Viruses are in formation & ready to attack! In my case, I have already been attacked & conquered.

Sigh…I just hope I get over it soon…especially since I really have stuff to do in the next week..

Correction….make that 6 movies…

I love lazy Sundays.  No work, no fuss & I get to be as lazy as I want. 

For example, today I woke up at 10-ish.  Lumbered around the house till 12 noon.  Watched cheesy movies ( Stop! Or my mom will shoot!, Guarding Tess, The Hot Chick) all day, chatted with friends on MSN, did some laundry…What else did I do? I sorted out my pictures & listened to some music..had mac & cheese..

See, this has got to be one of the most calming days that I’ve had in a while.  No serious issues to settle, just rest & relax…there has got to be more days like this.

How do you know if what you’ve done so far in life is the right thing?

Is it when someone tells you that it’s right or is it when you follow your intuition? 

My take on this:

The line between right & wrong is blurred.  What you think is right may not necessarily be right for others & vice versa.  How many of us can honestly say that we have always done the right thing in life?  If you can, then congratulations! You must be one of the happiest people on this earth.

For me, being right is not important.  Being happy in life, that is what I want even if it involves me being wrong. 

"No, that is a bad thing to be doing! What the hell were you thinking?!?", "Don’t you have any f*%#king brains to think?!?" or the best line ever for me,"What a f*%king idiot..typical, once stupid,always stupid!"

Some of the sentences that I have heard from the people who "love" me.  At one point, I even believed that all the things told to me must be true or why would people keep saying it.  I believed that I was incapable of making my own decisions thus the need for someone to tell me what is rght or wrong.  It finally dawned on me that this was just another way of controlling me.

Now, I’m getting better at this game.  The more a person says that I’ve fucked up, the more I’ll try to prove my case & show whoever that I did not fuck up..Even though I do have days where I just give in, I do have my stubborn days as well.

Anyways, I believe that what I’m doing now is the right thing for me.  At least it feels right for now. 

Last Saturday, we celebrated Yuko’s "19th" birthday as Lee put it.  It was at this hot pot place near panjiayuan qiao or something like that. 

That was good considering I had been craving hot pot since like the week before.  Yay for the planners.

Anyways, the people who turned up were mostly people I knew already except for maybe 1 or 2 of them but I made sure I was friends with ‘em by the end of the night. 

These are some of the people who showed up by the way!

I know it’s in the middle of a work day but I just need to say that I’ve just been hit by the weirdest feeling. 

The past week has been basically a rollercoaster ride of mixed feelings for me.  I’m facing one of the harder moments in my life right now & I don’t really know how to deal with it.

I can accept the fact that I am not an efficient worker here in Beijing & am pretty useless when it comes to marketing.  I can even accept the fact that I’m not really the best colleague/ friend that a person can hope for.

I just can’t accept the fact that I do not know where to start to improve the situation.  I can’t accept the fact that my personal life has to be dictated over by others who actually have no right to do so.  Just because I gave in once or twice, it doesn’t mean that I’ll keep giving in.  There is a limit.

I spoke to some people before & I’ve heard the arguments from both sides.  Both sides make sense but to do one thing rather than the other just makes things even more complicated for me.

I don’t want to just please other people to make my life bearable.  I just want to please myself for once. 

I finally went to the hospital yesterday.

It was pretty much uneventful except a) the one-eyed goldfish & b) the 2 skinny-assed Chinese chicks who kept pissing me off with their blatant staring & obnoxious behaviour("We’ve been waiting for like,half a day already" when they just got there..& sitting on both Kenn’s & my bags on the sofa).

Just before the doctor saw me, I started getting nervous,fidgetty.  I don’t really like hospitals.  I don’t mind going there just to visit people but I don’t like it when the reason that I’m in the hospital is due to myself.   

The doctor did the usual,"What is the matter? Oh, You hurt your toe…Ok,does this hurt? Does this?"

Then he sent me off to get an x-ray done.  Now that felt weird. 

Anyways, cutting the story short, all I have to do now is rest my foot, soak it n hot water everynight & stop getting it kicked by others, stop stubbing my toe against everything etc. & it will be all good in 6 to 8 weeks. Yay!?!

So there you have it, the cuter foot of mine..let’s play "Spot-the-fracture"!!